I need a Telecomms 'broker'

Wasted another half hour of my life yesterday in a Telecom shop waiting for someone to help me; not the first time I've done that either. I gave up in the end because there were 4 other people also queueing - and I needed someone to spend time helping me.

You see it occurs to me that my family spends a significant whack every month on telecommunications and it needs reviewing. It is so hard to do and takes so much time and energy. I just want someone to say this is the best option for you and it will cost $x.

We have 7 cell phones on 3 different networks in my immediate family. Vodafone doesn't get good reception at our home; meaning only from the eastern end of the south-facing couch if you hold you arm up high at a 45 degree angle, the upper bunk in the boys bedroom or standing on the bbq table in the backyard with your left leg tucked up behind your right ear ... not ideal really. Telecom mobile coverage is great.

But Telecom broadband is shite at the beach - terribly slow. I could hand deliver messages to London quicker than Telecom 'max/max' service. Which makes no sense because I switched to Actrix and its bloody fast. I switched because Atrix reset data quotas daily which saves masses of stress because I am no longer have to scream at the children from day 16 in the month until the counter is reset. How can Actrix be so fast over Telecom lines when Telecom's was so bad? It uses the same bloody lines!!

So now we 3 cell phones that need replacing (2 on the old network) and 1 which is out of its contract and simply hideous to use; I can't see the screen outside and fonts are too small for a woman of a certain age.

Oh and no one rings us on the landline now (except the ex-bloke and the bank and I'll happily avoid both of them) so I can't see the point of keeping it - except I need it for Sky. We have Sky digital because its the only way to get TV reception (yes even the free ordinary channels) . If we go with Vodafone we can get cheap Sky .... but no cell reception.

I hate it all ...

So this is what I want:

The 4 kids and I to have 1 phone each, we can all text anyone no matter network they are on, with a generous text allowance, and we can all phone each other too. At least 2 of the phones need data plans for checking emails, facebook, twitter etc I want to have fast broadband at home and either a massive data allowance so we never run out, or 1GB data reset daily (my preference). I want to keep Sky (kids would like MySky). 3 of us need new phones - I'd like a smart phone. And I don't want to spend a month sorting it out or a fortune every month.